After you’ve share a lot, and really let down your guard, and shown your bare self, later, you feel awkward, with a little regret, tired, and worried you went too far.
There is, in fact, a thing called oversharing. It does happen. Among strangers, you may not want to show a lot until you’ve build some rapport and trust. Oversharing comes when you try to force emotional intimacy.
But, really, it’s a matter of degree. Sometimes after being vulnerable and sharing emotionally you may just be “sore” in the same way that your muscles are sore after pushing yourself physically. Feeling tired and a little raw may not be a bad thing. It may be a sign of growth.
The question is this: did you overshare, or did you stretch your vulnerability and it’s now combining with shame (which makes you feel like you overshared)?
Sharing and opening yourself is important and hard. It’s worth both being careful and taking risks. Throwing caution to the wind might be reckless if you are not highly skillful. But testing your known limits is a way to develop those skills.
Initially, being vulnerable and honest can feel not only relaxing and refreshing, but like an ecstatic release. However, the stronger the high, the deeper the inevitable low may be afterward.
Vulnerability is powerful. Share, but take care. Establish some rapport and connection, and then take a little extra chance on trust. Go past your limit just a bit. Let yourself dangle out there, and see how the world responds. Respect yourself for taking the chance.
Breathe, focus, and take the risk you are ready for. And then again, and again.
Don’t go in the deep end right away. Work your way there little by little. Stretch. You got this.
Leave a Reply