What obstacles have you identified?
List ’em out quick. What comes to top of mind?
Here’s your Quick and Dirty Master Class on Obstacle Busting
Obstacle Busting Technique 1: One Step
One foot at a time across the perilous tight rope. One brick at a time to build your dream house. One sentence at a time to write your grand novel. One rep at a time to sculpt your glorious pecks. One literal step at a time to run your marathon.
Overwhelmed? Focus on one step. Only ever one step.
Bit off more than you can chew? Or, you got too big a cookie? Just focus on one bite!
O.B.T. 2: Go Tiny or Go Home
One step seem like too big a leap? Go tiny. Do one teeny weeny teensy tiny incremental move now. That’s all. And forever. Slide your toes forward.
Shuffle your knees just a bit down the path as you kneel in the dirt planting your garden inch by inch.
Too big a cookie? One nibble!
O.B.T. 3: Don’t Use Will Power, Use Weakness
Feeling frustrated? Banging your head against the wall? Will power won’t help you smash through this wall, softness will. Get vulnerable, soft, empathic. Surrender.
Relax your fist, let down your guard. Open to weakness and imperfection. Maybe then new possibilities emerge before you.
Maybe the obstacle dissolves in lockstep with relaxing your firm will to smash it.
Maybe through vulnerability you make a connection to someone who can help.
Can’t eat the whole cookie? Put it down and chill out and breathe until you realize you’re already full.
O.B.T. 4: Face Your Fears
We got lotsa fears. Rejection, failure, making mistakes, losing, looking dumb, being wrong. Have you checked in on these lately? They may be lurking secretly behind the scenes fucking you up.
Check in on them to see if they are pulling the strings. They may be projecting another obstacle to distract you from them — they are the real obstacles.
Take these steps:
A) Name them. B) Seek to understand them. C) Say them out loud to someone on your team and describe them.
D) Lay them at the alter of empathy. Welcome your humanity.
I’m afraid my mother won’t love me if I don’t eat the cookie. Will you mom? Yes I think she still will! Her love is bigger than this cookie.
O.B.T. 5: Other Humans
Other people may be your biggest strength and your greatest weakness. Your pain and your enlightenment.
Who is truly on your team? Ask your gut. Where can you get your most enduring and deepest support? This team can and will help you.
Develop your team, your fam, your circle of trust, your kind and generous counselors. Tell them who they are to you. Solicit real feedback. (Take what works and leave the rest.)
Your team will help with this obstacle busting thing.
Share the cookie!
O.B.T. 6: Will Power
Yes! A powerful power. One to use only sometimes, not to rely on always.
A hammer alone won’t build a house, but it’s an essential tool to be used at the appropriate hammer-moments.
There are times to push yourself. There are times to sprint. Not always. Not even the fastest 100-meter runners in the world always sprint.
Sprint wisely. Use will power wisely.
Use this power in the context of a greater authentic vision and lifestyle. Choose the things that you feel in your gut, are exciting, and expand you beyond yourself.
Do a push up to get hyped and then smash that cookie!
O.B.T. 7: Priorities
Ask yourself, what is really important?
Stop pussy footing around. Choose the important stuff. You have 100 things on your To Do list? Which are the 3 most important? Which are the 3 most exciting? Which are the 3 easiest?
Pick 3 total, do those today.
Hmm. Actually, maybe the sandwich is more important and more enjoyable than the cookie.
TIP: We tend to overemphasize willpower. Fuck willpower. Use some of these other techniques.
PERMISSION: Fuck the obstacle, don’t even worry about it—walk another way entirely.
ACTION: Choose a technique and try it this week.
STRETCH: Choose a technique you can crush! And use it ALL week.
BOTTOM LINE: There are many different ways to deal with obstacles, including softness and vulnerability, other people’s help, microscopic moves forward, checking in on your fears that are secretly calling the shots, and remembering your core truths.
Only eat amazing cookies. Don’t waste life on the bad cookies.