What’s going on in there? A faint pitter patter? Boisterous banter? Loose blather? For some of us, it’s a continuing battle with the prattle that slips out from under the musty door to the dusty back office of the mind.
You may try to control it, influence it, or just give up and let it run rampant for a while.
What if you had some skillful, even graceful ways of interacting with it, like a suave bouncer, or a cheery and knowledgeable usher?
Or a nurse with an amazing bedside manner?
Whatever your ideal form of self-talk, it will take practice with specific methods.
The following is a quick summary of how to direct and shape the voice in your head for helpful, positive change. The 4th is a big idea about super powerful self-talk.
These all apply no matter what stage or life you are in, and whether you are up, or down, or cruising around.
1) Heroes
Who is a hero to you? Imagine them. Take a moment to consider what they might say to you now.
If “hero” isn’t the right idea for you now, then think of someone who was a hero to you growing up. Or think of someone you admire now, or deeply respect. What would they say to you now?
2) Friends
Whether you’re up, or you’re down, or in between, take a step back from yourself. Imagine you are not you, for a moment, but your friend. What would you say to them? What suggestions or support would you give them?
Address this person with “you.” (In other words, you address yourself as “you,” your friend.)
3) Take your own advice
What suggestions do you have for the world?
Whatever you wish to teach others, or preach to all, it’s probably something pretty good and helpful. You probably believe in it earnestly and see a need for it in the world.
It’s the thing or things you really want to share with others for their sake. It may be a wish, or a solution, or just a great suggestion.
What is it?
This is your oh so good medicine. Hmmmm, yum. Take it.
Today, take your own best advice. Follow your want that you want for others.
4) Advanced self-talk
What are (roughly) the 5 most important principles you want in your life? For example, Health? Prosperity? Honesty? Generosity? Sportiness? Fun? These are just random examples. Can be anything, whatever is true for you.
Now for each, name a person or character who represents them best for you.
For example, if you choose affability as a principle, maybe you select your grandpa Richard to represent it because he was a very affable guy. If you choose peace of mind as a principle, you might select a meditation teacher you like to represent it. You can use historical figures or fictional characters.
Once you have your team, ask them what you should do. They may offer you immediate moral support, or guidance for long term action. They may have insights you never realized apply to you. They may serve you up a plate of hot, delicious reminders of what you already know and love. They may help you make decisions. They may help you process thoughts and feelings. They may help keep you focused on your true north.
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All of these methods are ways of talking not just to yourself, but to your best self. Indulge, embrace, and nurture these warm strengths within you.
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