Emo Intel & How to See Stuff Really Isn’t About You – A Simple Technique

First, I’m definitely having fun with the title. If it’s not clear, emo intel means emotional intelligence. Ok, let’s continue the fun………

Stuff is not about you. You know, stuff, like things people say, moods you pick up on, and all the zany ways people go about living their lives.

Here is a quick description of some powerful ways to not take things personally.

When someone says or does something stupid or mean, ask one or both questions: 

What does this person really want? 

What is their actual intention? 

It’s hard to ask and answer these questions when feelings are strong, but after the intensity subsides, start asking. 

Now, if you don’t have an answer that is not about you, think of someone who couldn’t hurt you —  a stranger, a child, a horrible person you already disregard — and put the words and actions in their mouth and hands. 

How does it feel then? 

Also, ask the first two questions again and it may become clearer that it’s about their wants and needs, not about you.