Some stuff has gone well for you in life. 🙂 Remember?
You started a good habit. You ended a bad one. You accomplished a goal.
Think of at least one example from your life. What worked for you? How did you do it? Take a couple of minutes and write out everything that worked for you. Just start writing and more ideas will come to you. A full story, snippets, or words list.
Here’s one from me:
I knew I had to go vegan. I knew it was right. But I was dragging my feet. Hesitant. Scared. I was afraid my diet would be super limited. I was afraid I would be socially ostracized. (The first didn’t happen, the second kinda has, mildly.)
It took me years to actually do it. It seems quick and easy in retrospect—it took only a few months. But, it took years to pull the trigger.
What helped me go vegan?
My girlfriend at the time was vegan, so I felt that I had at least one companion to do it with. Someone to go out to dinner with, without feeling like the weirdo at the table. Someone to shop and cook at home with, to try new stuff and learn.
Then, when I went vegan, I didn’t quit my old diet cold turkey. I kept open two exceptions: anything my grandmother cooked, and going out for sushi. After a while, I talked to my grandmother about it, and to my surprise, she was totally understanding and cooked vegan food for me from then on. Also after a while, I realized I wasn’t going out for sushi very much, if at all, and most importantly, I didn’t miss it. (And I found some good vegan sushi.)
Of course, there were speed bumps along the way.
My girlfriend and I ended up breaking up but I stayed vegan. (More on that later… as in, another time.)
Also, as I was easing in to veganism during the first 3 months or so, I “slipped up” or “made exceptions” a couple times, namely, eating pepperoni pizza once and another time eating a tuna fish sub sandwich. But I wasn’t thrown off track completely either time. The pizza was kind a gross. The tuna fish sub was underwhelming.
One thing that helped me was that making this change in my life was connected to a deep sense of ethics and what’s right — also known as my core values.
Maintaining veganism was supported by my reading, movie watching, and educating myself on all the different aspects of veganism. It was a compelling learning process.
Over the years I’ve made vegan friends. Yay!
My family usually makes sure there’s food I will eat at family meals. Helps.
Lastly, I often see it as a fun, adventurous exploration of the culinary world.
This story is a good example because it includes many different components of meaningful habit and lifestyle change.
Now, Let’s elaborate on your example from your life. You don’t need to have an answer for all of these. Whatever was true for you.
Core Values? _________________________________________________
Your Needs? ____________________________________________________________
Spoken or Unspoken Commitments? _________________________________________________
Skills or Ability? ______________________________________________
Vision or Goal? ______________________________________________
Hope or Rewards? _________________________________________________
Fear or Negative Consequences? ___________________________________________
Feelings / Emotional component? _______________________________________
Social Approval? _______________________________________
Change in Status? _______________________________________
Social Connection? _______________________________________
Joy or Fun? ________________________________________________
Pride or Vanity? _______________________________________________
Now, what worked best?
What are your strengths you’ve identified here?
There are two categories: your strengths, and other things that worked. From these, what will you apply to your current project?
Finally, make a commitment to yourself to apply what you’ve learned here. Make a commitment to your team or fam or community, or all of them, and keep them abreast as you work it.